just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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