Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
