so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
