Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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