Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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