Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
