...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
