ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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