he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
