But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
