this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
