You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
