why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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