it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
