so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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