So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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