just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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