My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she woke up with a sticky ear
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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