So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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