So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
