Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
