I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
