Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
