He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
