Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
