Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
