I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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