You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
