I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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