so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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