I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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