did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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