oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
