i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
