Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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