Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
