The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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