Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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