We need to rekindle our bromance
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
where are my eyebrows?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize