glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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