i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
