oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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