Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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