im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
