You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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