I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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