He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
