this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
