Can i not drive my cunt home
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
