@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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