i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
