well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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