she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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