thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
